People are never happy with what they are or what they have. I know about this and know it is true, I see it every day in others and I see it in myself as well. Is it just something built into us inherently that makes us strive for more or to be more? I don't know.
I find myself at a time in life when I don't want more, but actually want less. I look around and find so much clutter and too much stuff. That of course is an American past time I think, collecting stuff. Who in the hell needs it? Not me apparently. But what to do with it all?
When Mama moved from the house I grew up on and supposedly was going to downsize, we had a series of yard sales. It was amazing at the amount of money that we made from her things. When I first started cleaning out her attack, it was overwhelming and I was quite literally surprised that the ceilings had not caved in from all of the stuff. I thought then, who on earth needs all of this, why, and how could this happen? No way in the world had she even seen any of that stuff in years, but there it sat in the attack like some archive. Her closets, cabinets and drawers were not much better either.
Anyway, she moved into a smaller house and my sister and I felt good that she had thinned out and downsized. Well only about 4 years later she became very sick and I had to move her to New Jersey with me. Low and behold, I felt like I was going through the same process and again, there was so much stuff I didn't know what to do with it all. We were on very limited time, so I got rid of a lot, but the rest I just packed up and moved to New Jersey and there I put it in my basement.
Mom passed away two years ago and where is all of that stuff? Still in my basement. The real problem is not only is it a ton of her stuff I now have to go through, and it sort of feels like an invasion of her life now. It is disturbing and uncomfortable to go through these things. It's uncomfortable and sad getting rid of her things now that she is gone. What is that all about? It is kind of like I am giving pieces of her away. I know that is ridiculous, never the less that is how it feels.
Besides all of Mom's things that I am trying to go through, I am trying to go through my own things. Good God, did I inherit that same tendency to collect everything and stuff it in closets, basements, and sheds? I think I did. The very thing that drives me crazy! And to top it off there is a ton of stuff that Vito has and has collected. With that said, this little house in which I reside has STUFF from three households in it and I am overwhelmed. That's right, it seems to have all come crashing on my shoulders to handle. I just want it all gone, yet have a problem parting with some of it. This I wonder about too as we certainly don't take it with us when we die and leave our earthly realm. I am sure if that were the case, Mama would have taken her stuff and I would be feeling grateful for that now. Instead, it is up to me to deal with someone else's stuff as well as mine now. No other animal on earth does this and it is insanity.
So I have come to the conclusion that I must thin out the clutter and get rid of the stuff. Where did I hear that cluttered house makes for a cluttered mind. Well let me just say that it is true! And I also have to say that I would never want anyone going through my things and delving into my belongings, it gives too much personal information about the person and I don't want that. Also I don't really have anyone to do that down the road probably unless it is strangers or friends. Lord I would wish that on anyone. It is necessary for me to do this now. I must get rid of this stuff.
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